Read Into It: Sarah Silverman on Rape Culture

Late last week, Sarah Silverman retweeted a satirical twist on real-world lists that have circulated for years purporting to advise women on how to avoid being raped.  Silverman’s post shifted the focus to men and jokingly relayed what they could do to prevent themselves from becoming attackers.

 

And the social media backlash ensued.

To paraphrase the general consensus of the outrage, men who were angered by Silverman’s tweet felt its content perpetuated the generalization that all men are predisposed to rape.

In response, I would like to thank the twittersphere for so perfectly proving her (what I believe to be thinly-veiled) point, because their reaction is exactly the kind of short-sighted, flawed thinking that this post was intended to call attention to.

I bet what these fellas don’t know is that lists actually exist that advise women to urinate, pass gas, or claim they have a disease to fend off a potential rape attack. It’s these real-life lists that suggest that men have an inherent proclivity to rape women that all men must be protected from, not the comedic take used by Silverman to bring attention to this fallacy.

To be completely explicit for anyone still choosing to apply strict constructionism to Silverman’s post, Silverman was not making a joke about rape. She was using comedy as a tool to make the broader social statement that rape culture focuses on what the victim can do to prevent “inevitable” attack, rather than holding attackers responsible for their deviant actions. It’s a powerful message conveyed in an easily digestible package, in the format of satire, which is not anything new. See for yourself via CNN’s headline on the rape-prevention topic, and don’t tell me for one second you think CNN actually advises that women make themselves vomit to fend off attackers.

So what’s the takeaway here? Let’s stop giving social-media-ites a bad name. Don’t take the easy way out and get riled up over the literal interpretation of one comedian’s tweet. Let’s all make a concerted effort to participate in the deeper dialogue and not take every 140-character sound bite at face value. And let’s start placing blame where blame is due, on the criminals who perpetrate sexual violence on others.

 

XOXO,

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

Don’t Do as the Romans Do

I find it so interesting that we all tend to get so reflective on New Year’s Eve,  as we feel this is the one chance we get every 365 days to really make things right in our lives. So many of us look to the start of the new year as a sort of “fresh start” or as a panacea for all of our troubles, when in reality, it’s just another day, made up of moments like every other day that has led us to where we are now, be blessed or be damned.

yearfromnowTime marches on and when the clock strikes 12:01 am on January 1, 2015, it will still be the same tomorrow you would have had if this was some non-descript midweek night in March, or any other month. The fact of the matter is that your troubles will all still be there tomorrow, because the past doesn’t magically disappear with a ball drop or a fireworks display, as much as we may want it to.

So take stock if you must, but do so knowing that every day you have the power to change your circumstances. Every. Single. Day.  In case no one ever told you, you don’t have to wait for some arbitrary date that was preselected for you by the ancient Roman Senate in 153 BC to get your life together.

The only way to change the things that you don’t like is to own your actions, or lack thereof, and the effect they have on you and the people you love, and to act consciously towards your desired end every day. So yes, make 2015 count. But just make it all count.

 

XOXO,

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

 

Setting The Standard

fixed heartAccess Hollywood Live had an interesting topic of discussion today, brought up by Hillary Clinton’s interview with Diane Sawyer and Monica Lewinsky’s recent re-emergence in the media.  They were discussing the topic of staying in a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, and what good reasons to end things might be. This has come up a lot recently in conversations with my girlfriends, and it’s got me thinking… shouldn’t we be more worried about having good reasons to stay in it rather than having a socially acceptable reason to get out of it?

Jillian Barberie, who just happens to be a newly-signed CMEG client, said that during her recent divorce, instead of receiving support for her decision, she was told “if there’s no cheating, and no beating, why divorce?” …And then she dropped a bomb of wisdom that exploded so beautifully it was like fireworks on the Fourth of July. She said, “maybe it’s the day to day life you can’t get through.”  …and I must say, Bravo, Jillian!

fireworks2When did the standard for someone deserving your time and attention become “well, I know he’s not cheating on me” or “I know he’s not seeing anyone else,” anyway? I’ve been guilty of saying these things myself, and almost apologizing to my girlfriends that  my complaints don’t seem legitimate. But then I catch myself, because the reality is that someone that is getting your energy and affection is SUPPOSED to be trustworthy.  That’s the starting point.

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Gary and Brooke struggle with failure to meet expectations in The Break-Up.

To put it another way, just because someone isn’t breaking your trust doesn’t mean they get a free pass. This might sound shocking, but something other than lying, cheating or abuse can make a relationship not good enough.  This crazy “standard” we’ve come to know makes us feel like demanding anything more than not sticking your p**** in someone else is, dare I say it, “needy” and nagging, but we need to start changing the way we think about what is good enough and what isn’t.

My former roommate (who I always thought to be a womanizer and a lot like Matthew McConaughey in The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, but turns out he was wise beyond his years) used to always tell me that a relationship should only add to your life; it’s not something you need, but a nice little bonus. And he was right.  I think sometimes us women can forget that.  We need to rewire ourselves to remember that if we’re not getting something that is SO GREAT from someone else that our lives are better off because of it, then we’re better off alone (I know, scary word).

waste of timeAnd ladies, let me just write this out so there is no confusion about the message here: You. Can’t. Change. Someone.  Take it from someone who has tried to change several men, including one ex-husband. So if you’re not getting what you want from someone right now, stop thinking you can change that! People only change when they want to, which is usually only because they have to. And what you accept (by staying in a situation and hoping for change) is what will continue. And just to throw in one more cliche, actions speak louder than words. (Hey, cliches only become cliches because they get repeated so much because they’re true!) What you see is what you get. Get it? So open your eyes, see things for what they are, and know that it’s OK to be alone, even if only because someone isn’t giving you a good reason not to be. Just like Jillian Barberie.

 

XOXO

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

“I’m Seeing Someone”

There are all kinds of obstacles in the way of achieving a successful warning-challengesrelationship with the person you love. Some obstacles to romantic bliss are relatively simple things, like time, energy, and money, and some can be a bit more complicated, like  differences in lifestyle, culture and religion. The truth is there’s really no limit to what can get in the way.  But even if you find yourself lucky enough to get past all of the little things that seem like obstacles, and you meet someone who claims to be everything you’d like them to be, and someone who tells you that they want everything that you want, there is a really good chance that they’re going to drop that bomb and say… “I’m seeing someone.”  And that someone might be a therapist.

Let me say up front that I have never been in therapy, so you’re getting an outsider’s perspective here.  I did, just once, go to a marriage counselor when I was 23, but she was old and out of touch, and I was young and stubborn with both feet half out the door of that relationship, so I’m going to go ahead and declare that doesn’t count.  I’d also like to say that I don’t discount the usefulness of therapy in some situations, but I also think that, just like the basic law of science that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, if therapy is generally positive, it has to have at least some negatives.  Aside from the obvious implication that if someone is in therapy, they must have serious problems (who doesn’t?), what I wonder about are the possible negative effects of therapy, on a relationship and just when used improperly in general.

threesomeConsider this: if one person in a relationship is in therapy, and the other is not, that couple may very well have just placed themselves smack dab in the middle of a non-consensual orgy. Hear me out on this. Emotional cheating is real. I know because I’ve been guilty of it. If you are expending all of your emotional energy talking to someone else, sorting through your troubles, “figuring shit out,” it’s highly likely that you’re going to find yourself “reporting back” to your significant other, rather than engaging in that same discussion all over again.  BAM! Emotional orgy.  I realize it’s a lot easier to talk things out with a stranger that you have no desire to impress (which is personally why I love the beginning of dating so much, when everyone is brutally honest because there are no feelings involved yet), but that kind of openness is wall-couple-300x199exactly what you need in order to break down each other’s walls and develop something deeper, beyond a superficial attraction to each other.  So if you’re either cutting your partner out of this struggle, or you have to seek that emotional intimacy elsewhere because you’re just not getting it at home, maybe everyone’s sanity would be better served by cutting that threesome down to two, and I don’t necessarily mean cutting out the therapist.

I also have to wonder what really happens in therapy.  This is pure speculative skepticism on my part, because as I said before I’ve never been myself, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I think therapists are severely limited in their actual usefulness mainly by their clients’ self-reporting bias.  We all know there are three sides to every story: your side, the other person’s side, and the truth.  So how helpful can a stranger really be when all they have to go on is your (probably self-serving) version of the facts of life?  Answer: probably not that helpful. But another question then presents itself… how helpful should a therapist be?  Should a therapist take an active role in giving his opinion, advice and recommended course of action?  Granted, they are professionally trained to be impartial, but how can giving advice be impartial?  And further, if they should be taking a more active role, how different are they really from being a paid best friend? (Cue segue back to paragraph three.)

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So therapy… pro or con? It depends. (How’s that for a lawyer-like response?) I say if you’re conscious enough not to use it as a proxy for real emotional intimacy and you can put your ego aside to lay things out there as honestly as possible, then go for it. What’s your perspective? Should a therapist be merely a sounding board for you to sort out your life for yourself? Or should a therapist actively give you his opinions, advice and recommended courses of action? Does discussing the most intimate parts of your life with a therapist serve as a proxy for real emotional intimacy? And if you’re in a relationship, does that constitute emotional cheating? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences, so sound off in the comments below. Time’s up for now, and this session is on me.

 

XOXO

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

 

Going Back For My MRS Degree

marrysmart_coverSusan Patton, aka the Princeton Mom, is back in the news this week, with the release of her book, Marry Smart. You might remember her from the stir she caused last year, when she wrote an open letter to the Daily Princetonian advising the young women of the Ivy League that, if they were at all interested in marriage, they ought to be focused on finding their future husbands in college because they  “would never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who would be worthy […]

Finding the man of your dreams in college isn’t exactly a new idea. In fact, for a lot of women, it’s the American dream! I’ve known about the MRS Degree for years, and some of my girlfriends were very open about the fact that that’s why they became Bobcats with me at Ohio University.  And even I can honestly say that while some of Miss Susie’s advice may be a bit antiquated, I do wholeheartedly agree with her, at the very least, on the concentration of date-worthy men part! So in honor of Susan Patton’s truthful acknowledgement of all the crazy in the dating world post-college, how about some of that funny shit I promised to write about in this blog? My dating life is definitely full of it, so let me dive right in, with descriptive captions for your stereotyping and amusement…

THE VERTICALLY CHALLENGED WINO

I’ll start with my very first date here in Los Angeles, which was quite the rude awakening to the world of beinwine-glass-spillg single. Dude shows up to pick me up six inches shorter than I remember him, with the craaaaziest hair (strike one). Note to single girls everywhere: never accept a date from a man who is sitting down, with a hat on.  In the one hour before we left for dinner, he helped himself to a bottle and a half of the wine he brought for us (strike two). The whole thing was so awkward that I had no other choice but to get wasted as well, #YOLO! When I finally got back to the sanctuary of my home, he asked to come in and use my bathroom, aaaaand his cocky, overconfident self proceeded to use my toothbrush for his “wine teeth” (strike three)!! Gross!! Lucky for him I had a few glasses of wine myself… and lucky for me I never saw  him again… after the next morning. And I’ll leave it at that.

 THE BROKE ACTOR (OR MAYBE HE WAS JUST RUDE?)

Then there was the time I was all excited to try this cute little Italian place in Hollywood, until I get the follow-up text asking what time I’ll be ready, if he should pick me up, and… wait for it… if I’ll be eating dinner too?  What does that even mean?! Did he think I haguy-with-no-moneyd an eating disorder? Did he think I SHOULD have an eating disorder? If I had said no, would we have gone some place nicer, because he was too broke to pay for both of us at a decent place? So many questions… I’d like to say I canceled, but I didn’t. But you better believe I ordered every carb on that menu and savored every last bite!

 THE MULTI-TASKER

How about the complete stranger who asked me out via facebook message (which I normally wouldn’t go for but he was a professional racecar driver and we had a lot of “mutual friends” so I thought, why not?), and then I come to find out that he also asked out my good friend’s sister, who he had actually met, for the same night?! Poor guy had no way of knowing we were connected, and I just so happened to ask her best friend if she thought I should go (mutual friend), so his attempt to double-book the night ended up in a solo night for him. I guess the big man upstairs was looking out for me on that one!

 THE PORN ADDICT

Here’s one final story that I know will comfort anxious boyfriends everywhere, because when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you really can’t screw it up worse than this one… I had been seeing a new guy for a couple weethis guy loves pornks right around the expectation-filled holiday, so Valentine’s was our fourth official date.  We were having a great time, right up until he couldn’t take his eyes off this woman across the room! I clearly noticed he was distracted, so you can imagine my relief when he stopped mid-sentence to let me know that he was so sorry but he was CERTAIN he knew this woman but just couldn’t place from where… Weeelllllllll… turns out I knew her from my quite eclectic group of friends, and she’s a porn star.  It was especially hilarious when her, her husband and I started talking and catching up and my date kept on with the “I know I know you from somewhere” line, and all the while the rest of us are having a private conversation with our eyes that says “Yep, you’ve seen her vagina enough to actually recognize her face, and we all know it!”

From the hot foreign tourists on Tinder that never seem to actually leave, to the ridiculously inappropriate 20-something musicians that are ever-so-aloof but still too sexy to resist, that’s just a small sampling of some of my crazy dating life out here in Los Angeles. What I want to know is what dating is like where you live! The good, the bad, the ugly… let’s hear it! Leave your story in the comments below. It’s almost the weekend so I expect some good stories come Sunday afternoon!

XOXO

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

I’m A Barbie Girl

A new study published today in the journal “Sex Roles” purports to claim that young girls who play with Barbie dolls have limited career ambitions for themselves. That seems like a pretty tenuous link to me, but let’s explore it a bit further anyway. Here’s the basic lowdown of the findings that were published, as repBarbiesorted by Oregon State University, which funded the research:

Girls ages 4 to 7 were randomly assigned to play with one of three dolls: a fashion Barbie with dress and high-heeled shoes; a career Barbie with a doctor’s coat and stethoscope; or a Mrs. Potato Head with accessories such as purses and shoes. Mrs. Potato Head was selected as a neutral doll because the toy is similar in color and texture, but doesn’t have the sexualized characteristics of Barbie.

After a few minutes of play, the girls were asked if they could do any of 10 occupations when they grew up. They were also asked if boys could do those jobs. Half of the careers were traditionally male-dominated and half were female-dominated.

Girls who played with Barbie answered that they could do fewer jobs than boys could do. But girls who played with Mrs. Potato Head reported nearly the same number of possible careers for themselves and for boys.

Based on these reported results, on the surface, one might say that Barbie exudes an inherently negative message that women are less capable in the career world than men.  I, however, think the takeaway message here is much more subtle.

Let me pull out some lingo from my Ohio University days in Elementary Research Techniques class.  In my opinion, what we have here is a spurious relationship.  A spurious relationship is when two things appear to be directly related, but there’s actually a third unseen factor at play, also known as a lurking variable, that is the true cause of the scenario.

Doctor BarbieLet’s take a closer look at what’s really going on here. Yes, some little girls played with Barbies, and yes, some little girls identified fewer jobs as possible choices for themselves than boys.  But does that necessarily mean it’s Barbie’s fault? I think the end result here of perceived limited career prospects probably has more to do with the meaning that outside influences in these girls’ lives have placed on the “sexualized” characteristics of Barbie (aka the fact that she has boobs, unlike Mrs. Potato Head), rather than any wrongdoing on the part of Mattel.

I think it’s quite likely that the little girls in this study identify with Barbie, a social symbol of beauty, and that they also identify beauty with a lack of intellectual ability.   It’s then possible that based on the feeling that they can’t be both beautiful and intelligent, subconsciously the little girls who had just finished playing with Barbie chose beauty over intelligence, and limited their view of potential career choices accordingly.

What I’m saying here, in a lot less words, is that the problem isn’t Barbie. The problem is that society paints a picture that pretty people can’t do stuff.

Case in point: a woman who shall remain nameless recently referred to me as “Malibu BarbBarbie has everythingie with a law license” in what I’m assuming was an effort to insult me, or cut me down. The reality of the situation is that I’d be doing well to be Malibu Barbie, with or without a law license! Malibu Barbie gets shit done! She’s a doctor, a veterinarian, she’s been to the moon, she drivers a convertible and she owns her own dream house! It’s Barbie’s dream house, not Ken’s dream house, people, and she holds all those titles without ever missing a root touch-up or a nail appointment!

What all of that boils down to is that Barbie is my freaking idol! Let’s stop projecting our prejudices onto Barbie, and attributing ideas to her that by all representations she clearly doesn’t condone.  Embrace the fact that it’s perfectly acceptable to be appearance-conscious AND intelligent, friends.

PS If anyone from Mattel is reading this, PLEASE hop in your time machine and come out with 2010’s Graduation Barbie so I can complete my collection which currently consists of only 2006 and 2003! Please and thank you. Smart is Sexy! World peace!

XOXO

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

Secret Surgery

I think Plastic Surgery should be renamed.  It’s a misnomer anyway because they don’t really use plastic. But aside from that, I think Plastic Surgery would much more aptly be referred to as Secret Surgery instead. Since It’s so often treated as a matter of national security, the rename just makes too much sense.

Secret Surgery is such an interesting phenomenon. We fill 1045lips1our lips, freeze our wrinkles, pump up our busts and clip our noses, but no one wants to admit it!  People want to masquerade around like they fell from the sky looking like a perfect angel, but why?  Should it be a source of shame that a person wasn’t born looking exactly the way they want to look?

We just can’t help that these self-perceived “afflictions” befall us,  and the fact of the matter is that we live in a world where if you’re not happy with the way you look, and you want to change it, you can. People dye their hair because they’re not happy with the hair color they were born with, and no one bats an eye lash.  Speaking of eye lashes, can we talk about the plethora of options available to enhance just this two-inch piece of real estate on our faces? Strip lashes, individual lashes, lash extensions, creams to grow your lashes longer, lash tinting… and mascara counts too! Would you lie about wearing mascara? I think not. So why do people lie about having plastic surgery?

The main reason I’m so against “Secret Surgery” is that I feel it breeds hypocrisy. It sets an unrealistic standard for “natural beauty” and quite frankly, it’s a unique form of lying.  Remember the story about the guy who made headlines for suing his wife, and winning, over having an “ugly” baby? As the story went, the wife had had over $100,000 worth of “Secret Surgery” before she met her husband, and as a result their eventual children looked nothing like her! Later reports called the accuracy of this story into question, but the idea isn’t so unfathomable.
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 Let me go on the record saying that I wear mascara. I am one of those people that looks waaaaaaaay better with makeup on, so I wear lots of other makeup besides mascara, too. I also get my hair highlighted, get spray tans (Bronzed by Bentley… check it out, not kidding.)… and as of right now, I have implants.

The irony of my situation is that, if you watched The Drama Queen, you know I had surgery just over 3 months ago to downsize my implants, and now tomorrow I am going back under the knife to have them completely removed.  Who knew dropping down from 420 cc’s to 250 cc’s would still leave me with a freakin’ huge rack! Until tomorrow, I’m still a C, and sometimes a D cup!  After tomorrow though, I’ll hopefully be back to my former B cup self, and look a lot more proportional for my size. But let me also say that I’m terrified that the end result will leave me with the dreaded “pancake” boobs… here’s hoping I avoid that pitfall with the help of a fancy little stitch that my surgeon calls an “internal lift.”

sad pancakeFor me personally, being open about having had plastic surgery in the first place, and then having it again to try and undo that surgery, has made me the subject of quite a bit of ridicule (also, that hypocrisy I was talking about… yeah, watch The Drama Queen…). That’s ok though, because I know that if you have something done, and you’re open about it, people will be open about their opinions on what you’ve had done. But guess what? That’s FINE!

Let me let you in on a little secret… whether they share them with you or not, people are going to have opinions about what you do, anyway!  My grandma Lynne (my Dad’s Mom) always told me that opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one and most of ’em stink. So who cares what people think of your decisions?  Just own them!

love your decisionsIn my opinion, an easy way to make the world a better place is to let your Plastic Surgery flag fly!

 

XOXO

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

Online Dating

Spike Jonze’s new movie, Her, is definitely my pick for Best Motion Picture of the Year at the 2014 Academy Awards.  I loved the movie because it was interesting and entertaining, yes, but also because it’s so very REAL in ways that you might not even think of at first glance.  (If you haven’t seen the movie yet, and want to be surprised, stop reading now because there are some spoilers coming up…)  Her movie posterIn Her, Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore, a guy going through a divorce, who gets himself a personal assistant to help sort out his life in the form of an operating system, an OS, with artificial intelligence… basically, a virtual person.  Lo and behold, Theodore falls in love with the OS, named “Samantha” and voiced by Scarlett Johansson, and why wouldn’t he? The allure is so obvious… she’s always there when he needs her, when he doesn’t want to deal with her he can just turn her off, she doesn’t mind having “phone sex”…  She’s basically the perfect woman. Samantha is this guy’s perfect online dating relationship, at least in the beginning… (I’ll address that “at least in the beginning” part in a future blog.) This movie is set some time in the near future, but I’m thinking that future is a whole lot nearer than we think… I’m thinking that future is Now.
the-future

When online dating first came about, it had a sort of nasty stigma with it, like the users of online dating were some special type of loser because they couldn’t meet and enchant someone in “real” life, like everybody else, or maybe that they were just too lazy to get up, dress up and show up to try and woo a potential love interest into spending quality time with them.  Today, though, online dating is now very commonplace and acceptable, and I’d argue that we’re all actually taking part in it, even though we may not know it…

Don’t think so? Think back on your most recent dating experiences… remember the excitement of the approval of your friend request? Checking your instagram account and delighting in the find that your special someoneShe Poked Me Back has liked a picture you posted days ago, so you KNOW they were creepin’ on your page?! Remember the facebook “poke”? Guess what guys… the Direct Message and the poke and the favorite of someone’s tweet are virtually (See what I did there?) the same thing as sending someone a wink on Match.com. You don’t have to be nearly as charming in person anymore, because you have the entirety of the internet to win someone over… We’ve all become de facto online daters, whether we like it or not.

Now, the private, early side of “online dating” that I just described is a fun, innocent source of joy. It’s an easy way for new people in our lives to make us feel special without too much effort and commitment, and vice versa.  But for the more established romances, sadly, the more public form of online dating can turn uuuuuugly.  It’s no surprise to anyone that lots of fights break out between couples, or rather, daters in relationship limbo, over social media. I know… I can already hear the sighs of the people reading this… “It’s juuuust facebook…”

facebook fightWell, ladies and gentlemen, it’s not JUST facebook.  Let me break it down for you.  Once you’ve been dating someone for a little while, you eventually expect that person to show you off a little bit… take you out in public, introduce you to their friends, eventually have you meet their family… I’m pretty sure after any of us have spent a certain amount of time with a person, we’d be pretty upset if these things weren’t happening!  But here’s the thing… if you choose to be on social media, and you’re not including your significant other in your public online life, that is today’s equivalent of never taking your date out in public, my friends.Think about it like this… if you’re out at a fancy restaurant and you “check in” to publicly post (and let’s be honest, show off a little bit) that you’re there, but don’t tag your date, you might as well be telling them to hide under the table when you get seated next to your best friends at the comedy club. Point blank.

Facebook SettingsWe live our lives online these days, so if you’re “with” someone, whatever that means to you, it’s only natural to include your significant other in that online life.  It’s the same thing as taking your relationship from the cozy night in on your lover’s couch to holding hands in public at the Sunday farmer’s market. Now, I’m not saying you need to change your profile picture to a prom pose couple shot as soon as you get the first good-night kiss, but I am saying there does come a point in the natural progression of any 2014 relationship where you’re gonna have to make it “facebook official.”

sexy kissSo when is that point? After 5 dates? After 10 dates? After you drop the “L bomb”? What’s just right, and what’s going too far? I want to hear your thoughts, so give me your opinion in the comments section below.  Until then…

 

 

 

XOXO

The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2

 

About The Lovely Lawyer

Everyone has probably heard about a million lawyer jokes… I get it, they’re funny! They’re funny because they’re rooted in truth. Lots of people don’t like lawyers for a lot of really good reasons… they can be a little boring, they seem to know how to talk their way around anything, they’re freaking expensive… the list goes on! But here’s the thing about me… I’m the lawyer you actually you like!

Maybe it’s because I went to law school, or maybe it’s because I’m a middle child with a tendency to be the peacemaker, but I just so happen to be the person in my friends’ lives that they go to for advice. And I have to say I give really good advice! Now, I don’t always take my own advice, but that’s another story.  It’s kind of like how they say the lawyer who represents herself has a fool for a client… I digress. The point is, I’m here for you!

I have had the pleasure (and the pain) of having lots of varied life experiences up until this point, so odds are I’ve been in your position before, and I have an opinion on almost everything, so that’s what you’ll find in my blog, The Lovely Lawyer… The Lawyer You Actually Like!  I’ll give you great advice on lots of things, legal and otherwise, and I’ll do it for free! And I’ll also throw in some funny stories about the crazy random things that happen to my friends and me, because I live in Hollywood, and let’s face it, the shit that I see is pretty funny!

XOXO

Stephanie aka The Lovely Lawyer

Stephanie Haney Headshot 2